mother's day

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there! 

Here is how my day started: At 5:30 this morning, Audrey woke up. She does this thing where she wakes up, gets 2 inches from my face (usually with her elbows pressing into my neck) and says, "Good morning!! Happy Birthday! Hungie. Diiiiiiinner. Eat, mama. Eat!" That sounds so precious, doesn't it? Except, no. At 5:30, it's still dark out and that is not precious. It is only precious in retrospect. I am still crazy in love with that little person despite her penchant for early rising, and am so lucky that she and Julian are the people who have made me a mom.

Wade made a fantastic breakfast for us, and I could say that he's awesome for doing that because it's Mother's Day - but he's awesome and cooks all the time anyway. He's a good guy. His present to me was this really pretty plant, I think it was called a star of Bethlehem plant. Potted plants are much cooler than cut flowers to me because they last a crazy long time. 

Julian made this card for me in school. Here's the front. It has a butterfly, which he has been studying the life cycle of in school. The butterfly even has a little 3D proboscis that pokes out. And he didn't forget my age right there on the top center. 31! Right on, Julian.

 This is the inside - it's a poem he wrote for me. In case you can't read it, it says:

"So much depends

upon

a loving

mom

Who shares our days

challenges and plans

with me

inside a gray

Pontiac

Love, 

Julian

aka JuJu"

Isn't that the coolest card ever?

.................................

This is not from my kids, but I have to share this video. It cracks me up every single time I see it, and my sister and I have made kind of a thing of saying, "He moved into the city, and now he's gay."



I hope your day has been lovely and that you are around the people who mean the most to you.

meep blurbities

Bad news about Amendment One: it passed.

I sincerely thought there was no way in hell people would be so stupid as to vote for something that had so many consequences for so many people. It's like they just heard that it was about gay people, so they wanted to vote for it even without understanding it's way more than that. Maybe I just surround myself with really awesome people, but I didn't personally know anyone who voted for this bullshittery. So I was surprised and deeply disappointed when it passed. And I'm hoping that it will be overturned someday. One day, we'll look back on this the way we look back on how completely awful it was that black people had to have separate water fountains, or sit in the back of the bus. That it was so absurd to treat another human this way. And worst of all, that it was done in the name of a God who, we are taught, loves us unconditionally. Where is that love for each other?

I'm sorry for all the gay people out there who are treated like second class citizens simply because of who they love. I'm sorry for the families who will suffer because of this, because of all the benefits that will be taken away from them simply because they are not married. I'm sorry that there are so many closed minded and ignorant people who would vote for a measure that causes so much harm. It makes me embarrassed to say that I live here. Although, I moved here from California, and they are still fighting the asshattery that is Prop 8. So even in the most liberal of places, hatred is still so powerful and oppressive. 

Here is the face of a boy who knows that love is love, and doesn't need any laws to define it. This boy knows that his lesbian aunt should be able to get married one day when she meets the person who is right for her. Because who is love harming? No one. Love only heals. 

On to happier things, here is Audrey laughing herself silly: 

Audrey has lols in her face.

And here is Wade in action, planting our vegetable garden. See that pole he's using to dig the holes where the seedlings will go? That is the pole that the fuckfaces who robbed us used to break our doors down. Ever the crafty man, Mr. Wilson saved their tool of fuckery and turned it into a tool for gardening goodness. Wade is more resourceful than me, because I wanted to get rid of that thing immediately, since it reminds me only of a very traumatic time. But he's practical, and I am emotional. We are a good balance for each other. He tolerates my Crazy exceptionally well.

Today, we went with some friends to Reynolda Gardens and walked around because it was so pretty out. And Audrey promptly stripped herself down to her diaper and took off through the field. I had to get a shot of my little naked baby tearing through the perfectly manicured grass. Because this is the South, y'all!! (For the record, I seriously dislike the word "y'all" unless it is used to mock. That word is not a part of my vernacular. It makes so much sense, right? That I abuse the words "like" and "totally" but find the words "y'all" and "ain't" completely repugnant. Oh, it doesn't make sense at all and I just sound like a jerky snob? Well. Okay.)

You guys. I am feeling extra loving and trusting tonight. It is possibly because Wade just made me a juice beverage that contains vodka. Whatever. The point is, I think we should be facebook friends if we are not already. That is, as long as you are not a creeper and want to come to my house and harm me or my family. Because then, I will eff you up hard. But if you're a friend, find me on the facebooky, yes? I once searched for my name and it turns out that all other girls named Allison Wilson are total skanks who post pictures of their boobs or wear hoochie shorts. There were like 500 of them. So if you want to find me, my email is (big shocker coming up here): allisonthemeep at gmail dot com. As Audrey would say, "We fwiends."

the post in which i turn into ranty mcranterson

Tomorrow morning, I will be heading out to the polls to cast my vote against Amendment One. For those of you not in North Carolina and not familiar with this, this is an amendment that is driven by hatred. Its main claim purports to be protection of marriage from homosexuals who wish to be given equal rights and be allowed to marry. Because straight people are doing such a great job of protecting the sanctity of marriage, what with the divorce rate being 50% for first marriages and climbing even higher for subsequent marriages. How could gay people even think that they deserve to be married, when their lifestyle is such a sin? In addition to all that shellfish they're eating, and wearing clothes of two different kinds of thread, and slave owning. Thank you, Leviticus, for so clearly defining what is right and wrong for us.

Not only that, it has gaping loopholes which could mean that children whose parents aren't married would lose health care. How dare they ask for health care anyway, when their parents are so bold as to be unwed? Those little bastards don't deserve protection if their parents won't be in a holy union!

It also will mean that if you are a woman living with your boyfriend and he beats the shit out of you, it's not domestic violence, simply because you are not married to him. Because you were stupid enough to be living in sin by shacking up with your boyfriend, that you were asking for it in the first place. 

I mean, this law is OBVIOUSLY protecting marriage, right? RIGHT?  

No. So I am going to make sure that my vote is a big, fat, red NO for that bullshit. I can't even understand how crap like that gets placed on the ballot in the first place. I can guarantee you that if another religious group like Scientologists, for example, decided that access to anti-depressants and drugs used in mental health were wrong and sinful and should be taken away, people would lose their motherfreaking minds. But some "Christian" groups put this kind of thing up, and people support it. This much is true: Those people would be the first ones to kill Jesus. If Jesus were here today, they would not love him. How are these people picking up on a few vague references throughout this book they base all of their beliefs upon, yet ignoring the literally hundreds of references about loving your neighbor? 

Love your neighbor. Vote NO to protect the rights of ALL people. 

weekend

On Saturday, we went to this Earth Fair that was happening in our little town. There was a parade with a ton of really cool props like the leaf that Julian is holding, and all kinds of crazy elaborate masks. It was probably the coolest part of the whole thing, and it was so sweet to see Julian walking around with his pals that we ran into. 

I crudely blurred some kids' faces out because I don't want to be a creeper.

 After the Earth Fair, we went to Wade's office for a bit because he had to do some grown up business-type stuff and we tagged along. Audrey put on his sunglasses and had a very sneaky look in her eyes. Shady, you might even say. (Vote for me! Queen of Bad Puns!)

On Saturday night, I cried to Wade about how we're losers and everyone but us does stuff (what is wrong with me? Didn't we just do something earlier in the day? I'm crazy.) and we just sit at home like the gigantic losers that we are and do nothing but babysit our kids. Which can't really be called babysitting since they're our own kids. But still. That's how it feels.

So since Wade is the best partner in the entire world, he calmed down my Crazy with the idea of a day trip to Boone. I used to vacation there with my parents when I was Julian's age, but haven't been since. And we've wanted to visit since we moved here four years ago. So that's what we did.

We ate at a restaurant that was extremely well versed in dietary restrictions, and had a really great gluten-free meal. Even the kids got gluten-free bread, which never seems to happen. I would love for Winston-Salem to have something like this. I'd even love to head it up. An entirely gluten-free restaurant filled with local, healthy food. Nothing like that exists here. Except there's that whole problem of having no money to start a project like that. So I'll stick to making kickass GF foods at my own house for now.

A family picture where I look like Sloth from The Goonies. HEY YOU GUUUUYYYYYS!

Curb sitting in downtown Boone

What else? Audrey is super hilarious. I went for a physical today and had to disrobe and put on a hospital gown. Audrey was with me and said, "Mama, dotter look at wienah?" Yes, Audrey. The doctor is going to look at my wiener. (I swear, we have taught her the real words for dangly bits. But the slang ones are so much funnier.)

And tonight, this conversation happened:
Audrey: "RAAAWWWWWRRRRR!!!!"
Me: "Ahhh! Are you a monster?"
Audrey: "Yes ma'am. RAAAWWWWRRRRR!!!"

............................................................

Julian and I have been reading The Hunger Games. He reads a lot independently, but we usually have a big book going that I read aloud to him. I was going to wait and read the book first to see if it was age appropriate, and then I got all, screw it. He's seen X-Men and Spiderman and Batman. He knows about violence, even if it is very exaggerated violence and completely the opposite of the reality of the violence in The Hunger Games.

I think if he weren't such a mellow kid, I might not have done it. But Wade worked on the movie from our house, so he saw bits and pieces of it while Wade worked. Definitely not the whole thing, and definitely not the extremely violent parts. I still don't think he's ready to see the movie. But we both really enjoyed the first book, and now I'm getting super antsy because we've started reading Catching Fire, and I just want to rip through it on my own. But I promised him I'd wait and only read with him. It's like being obsessed with a show and having to wait until the following week to see a new episode.

Any books you are loving right now? Any harsh criticism of me because I'm letting my kid read a violent book? Anybody want to announce that they are a wealthy philanthropist and have a strong desire to financially back a gluten-free restaurant and bakery? Heh.

this is nutty, yo*

*Alternative title: Eat My Nuts. (I kept it classy. You're welcome.)

A couple of weeks ago, Jess and I started a pact where we text each other in the evenings to hold each other accountable for the things we eat. Because I can go all day long and be a good little hippie and only eat healthy foods, and talk to my kids all day about the importance of choosing healthy foods. And then when the kids go to bed, I'm all, "CANDEHHHHH! GET IN MY FACEHOLE, CANDEHHHHH!!!" So having a friend I can be accountable to really is helping me not eat filth at night, which is in turn going to help my pants fit better. 

I make this shake a lot for lunch because during the day, it's just Audrey and me hanging around at home. And on the days that we're not shoveling piles of leftover brussels sprouts in our faces, (I'm not even making a joke there. We seriously plowed through some brussels sprouts today, my tiny lady and I.) I make this smoothie for us and we love it. So now I'm going to share.

First, I mix this bad mofo up in a Vitamix. It is the most magical piece of kitchen equipment I own, and by that, I mean I use it all the freaking time and can do loads of stuff with it. My Gram gave it to me because she bought it and wasn't using it, so I understand that it's crazy expensive and not everybody can go that route. I wouldn't have been able to, if it hadn't been for The Gram-ster. 

Ingredients:

- 1 cup almond milk

- 1 handful raw almonds

- 4 or 5 dates (pitted)

- 1 banana

- 1 tablespoon chia seeds

- 1 tablespoon flax (you could use meal or seeds. whatever)

- a few ice cubes, at the very end because the Vitamix puts off a ton of heat and warm smoothies are about as appealing as making out with Richard Simmons. Another thought would be to start with frozen ingredients, but I never have that kind of brilliant foresight.

I have also been changing it up recently because I'm a total rogue and you never know what kind of badass things I'm going to do. Watch out! I might switch out smoothie ingredients on you! Living on the edge! So, yeah. I sometimes put in some plain Greek yogurt, and some Whole Foods brand chocolate whey protein powder. If you are avoiding dairy, use coconut yogurt and a vegan protein powder. Or just use cocoa powder. I did that one day and it was what the candy commercials would refer to as, "sinful" and "decadent."

The finished product. I'm trying really hard not to caption this with, "guzzle my nuts!"

So this texting for accountability is helping me a lot. I have already noticed that my crazy urge to eat All Of The Candies at 9:00 every night is mostly gone. We had some friends over for dinner this weekend and ate some really bitchin' gluten-free cupcakes that I made - and I honestly didn't even really enjoy it. I mean, it was a good cupcake. But it was not as satisfying as I had hoped it would be. It was just meh. 

And I don't weigh myself normally because for me, that just leads straight to Crazyville. I know it works really well for some people, but it makes me obsess in unhealthy ways about getting to a number. But. I was just at the doctor 2 weeks ago, and when I checked myself today, I was 5 pounds lighter than that doctor weight. So maybe not eating candy is working for me. But my main gauge is that my pants fit normally and that's good. 

This concludes a long and rambly post about my eating habits and random dirty nut jokes tossed in. Thank you, and good day.

happenings

- The day Wade left for Los Angeles, I was feeling very sad about missing my partner and also at the thought of being alone with two small crazy people for several days. When I got the mail that afternoon, there was a box in the mailbox. The label was addressed to "Allison Chlamydia Wilson" - so I knew that whoever sent this box had a masters degree in awesomeness. Upon opening the box, I found these sunglasses, courtesy of my cool friends Becca and Zach. If you know them, then you are lucky. If you don't, then I am sorry because you are missing out. 

I moustache you a question

- Over the weekend, I made this marshmallow fondant princess frog for my friend Kim. Audrey is bff with her youngest daughter, and it was her birthday. This frog was actually fun to make, and there was no crying or swearing, or kicking over folding chairs like a pro wrestler (ahem. Harry Potter Lego birthday cake incident.)

There was leftover fondant, so I let Julian play with it, and he made Pikachu, and some bees. He's rad.

- Speaking of how rad Julian is, he was in 2 student films at the university where Wade works, and they have been nominated for a Student Academy Award. What the what!!! The major one is this film, "Birthday Psalm", because he was the main character. He is only 8, yet already so much cooler than I will ever be.

- Audrey is so much fun, and a total nutbag all in one. She is so very two years old, and sneaks away to color on every surface in the house, and is suddenly fearful of the bath tub (despite being a former bath lover) because she swears, "Monssers! Coming for me! Eeeeeeee!!!" Today, I tried to make her take a nap in her own bed because she is getting cooler all the time and is no longer a neversleeper. The girl sleeps through the night now, and takes naps almost every day. I will take this over her former 3-hours-a-day sleeping habit any day. So, I was in her room and lying on this little fold-up futon on her floor, and I told her that she needed to climb into her bed, and I would hold her hand so she could fall asleep. This is our routine. She says, "Hand!" and we hold hands, and she falls asleep. But today, she would not, and would only say, "Sit up. Audie stowwy." She wanted to sit up in her bed, and tell me a story. It was like this: "One-saponna tieeeee, Audie anna monsser paying." (Once upon a time, Audrey and a monster were playing.) It went on like this for too flipping long, and she never took a nap today. But she was crazy cute, so that helps.

loss

Wade is in Los Angeles right now, and had to go through the difficult experience of burying his father on Friday. He told me that the funeral service was beautiful, and kind of crazy. When the minister started the service, a huge storm came on at the same time. This is L.A., where it's always sunny and never rains. The wind blew the doors of the church open and made the flag on Bob's coffin flutter around. It was a show of theatrical thunder and lightning throughout the whole ceremony. The minister apologized, and said that it was storming too hard for the sons to walk the coffin out, and that they would have to finish everything inside the chapel. The rain lifted just as it was time for his sons to walk his coffin to the grave. 

Can I tell you about Bob for a moment? He was a crazy artist. The guy could make art out of anything. His main thing though, was finding four-leaf clovers and turning them into pictures of carousel horses. I was unable to get a really clear photo of this picture that hangs in our kitchen because of the lighting. This thing is enormous and takes up most of the wall. And it's filled with four-leaf clovers. Bob had this almost magical gift for finding them. I remember once, when we went to the park with him, we were sitting on the picnic blanket and Julian was playing with some trucks, and Bob said, "Look, there's a four-leaf clover." And I couldn't see it. I thought he was bluffing. But he walked over, about 20 feet away, and picked it out of a patch of clover like it was no big deal. He said they were a different color to him. He made hundreds and hundreds of pieces like this, and we have several in our house. 

When Wade's brother and his wife were sorting through Bob's apartment and his belongings, they found a box full of thousands of clovers that Bob had picked, pressed flat, and dried. They were going to be used for making more art. Only, he got too sick to do what he loved, so they stayed in their box. So at the funeral, as people were walking by the grave, they reached into that box and grabbed handfuls of clovers, and dropped them in his grave.

One thing that I have learned through this is that children sometimes have a difficult time expressing grief or talking about death. There are so many questions, and how am I supposed to answer them when I am so confused about it myself? I have no answers. When it became clear that Bob wasn't going to survive this last stay in the hospital, Julian started asking questions about the situation, and some of his questions seemed insensitive. If I didn't know him, I would think he was just being rude. But I have heard that children filter these things differently, and their extreme bluntness about a subject that most adults try to handle very delicately and gracefully, can be somewhat alarming. We're understanding that this is a loss for Julian, too, and his questions, blunt as they are, are just as valid for his grieving process as anyone else's.

Whatever it is that comes after this life, I hope that Bob is at peace now.