I struggle a lot with depression. While some of it is just the unfortunate Vegas style slot machine genetics that came up all lemons, I can't blame all of my Crazy on chemicals. A lot of it lately feels circumstantial. As a very creative and social person, staying at home full-time with small kids for nearly a decade has been very challenging for me. I have felt lately that to have kids means that I have to give up on myself, even though I know that isn't what is true. If I look hard at it, my kids are the best thing life has brought me, and I can't blame any of this on them. They didn't ask to be born. They haven't done anything wrong by being here.
So I have to look further into why I feel so trapped and isolated. Further than just the stay-at-home mom thing. I am going to take some time to do that, and that also means I'm taking a break from this blog for a while.
I've also temporarily deactivated my Facebook account, and will be stepping away from other things like Twitter. While I don't think technology is bad, I certainly don't think more technology is the answer for me right now. Sometimes all this supposed connection only fuels my feelings of isolation even more. Looking at pictures of people having fun and taking trips and enjoying themselves while I am feeling stuck in my own life doesn't make me feel any better about the way things are. So those outlets need to be removed for a while.
I'll be back. But I need to take a break, and didn't want to not explain why.
If you'd like to contact me personally, I'm still going to be checking emails. My address is allisonthemeep at gmail dot com.